I Am Not Yours
By Sara Teasdale
I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.Oh plunge me deep in love, put out my senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A candle in a rushing wind.
Summary of “I Am Not Yours”
- Understanding the Poem’s Core: “I Am Not Yours” is a concise yet profoundly moving exploration of the complexities within a loving relationship. Penned by the American poet Sara Teasdale, first appearing in her 1915 collection Rivers to the Sea, the poem centers on a speaker asserting her individuality even while deeply desiring emotional and perhaps even complete immersion within her lover’s affection.
- The Central Idea – Balancing Independence and Intimacy: The poem’s central idea revolves around the delicate balance between maintaining one’s selfhood and surrendering to the intoxicating pull of love. The speaker does not deny her affection but rather emphasizes a yearning for a connection that does not require a loss of identity. It is a compelling portrayal of a desire for both closeness and autonomy.
- A Poem Ahead of Its Time: “I Am Not Yours” is often read as a precursor to modern feminist thought, particularly its emphasis on female independence and agency. The poem challenges traditional romantic notions of complete self-sacrifice within a relationship, articulating a desire for a more egalitarian dynamic.
In-Depth Analysis of “I Am Not Yours”
Examining the Opening Lines and the Assertion of Self
The poem immediately establishes its core tension with the declarative statement, “I am not yours, not lost in you.” This is not a rejection of love but a firm statement of self-possession. The repetition of “not lost” reinforces the speaker’s desire to retain her individual identity. Consider how powerful this opening is—it subverts the expectation of a typical love poem, which often begins with declarations of possession or complete surrender. This first line sets the stage for the entire poem’s exploration of independence within intimacy.
The Power of Simile: Expressing the Desire for Complete Immersion
Following the assertion of independence, the speaker paradoxically reveals her desire for a complete emotional submersion: “Not lost, although I long to be / Lost as a candle lit at noon, / Lost as a snowflake in the sea.” The use of similes here is crucial. A candle lit at noon is almost immediately extinguished by the overwhelming daylight, suggesting a desire to be completely consumed. Similarly, a snowflake dissolving into the sea signifies a complete merging, a loss of individual form. These images beautifully convey the speaker’s inner conflict—the simultaneous desire for independence and a profound connection. The natural imagery connects the speaker’s emotional state to the vastness and power of nature.
Acknowledging the Lover and Maintaining Boundaries
The second stanza shifts focus to the lover: “You love me, and I find you still / A spirit beautiful and bright.” This acknowledgement is positive, expressing appreciation for the lover’s qualities. However, it is followed by a reiteration of the speaker’s self-awareness: “Yet I am I, who long to be / Lost as a light is lost in light.” This parallel construction—again utilizing the simile of dissolution—reinforces the core theme. The speaker recognizes the lover’s goodness yet remains steadfast in her desire to maintain her individual essence, even while yearning for complete union. The phrase “Yet I am I” is a powerful assertion of individuality.
The Climax: A Bold Request for Total Surrender
The final stanza represents the culmination of the speaker’s complex feelings. “Oh plunge me deep in love, put out my senses, leave me deaf and blind.” This is a dramatic and almost desperate plea. The speaker isn’t asking for control or domination but for a complete and total immersion in the lover’s affection—a willingness to relinquish control and experience the intensity of emotion without reservation. The imagery of being deaf and blind suggests a desire to transcend the physical world and exist solely within the realm of love.
The Final Simile and the Image of Vulnerability
The poem concludes with the final simile: “Swept by the tempest of your love, / A candle in a rushing wind.” This image is particularly poignant. A candle is fragile and vulnerable. To be swept by a tempest suggests being overwhelmed by a powerful force. The speaker willingly offers herself up to the intensity of the lover’s affection, accepting the risk of being consumed but hoping for a passionate and transformative experience. The vulnerability of the candle highlights the speaker’s willingness to surrender while hinting at a potential for fragility.
Literary and Poetic Devices in “I Am Not Yours”
Assonance and Consonance: Creating Musicality
Teasdale skillfully employs assonance and consonance to create a musical quality within the poem. Assonance, the repetition of vowel sounds, can be found in lines such as “Lost as a candle lit at noon,” where the repeated “o” sound creates a sense of smoothness and resonance. Consonance, the repetition of consonant sounds, is evident in phrases such as “swept by the tempest,” where the repeated “t” and “s” sounds contribute to the poem’s rhythm and texture.
Imagery: Painting a Vivid Emotional Landscape
The poem is rich in imagery, particularly visual and sensory details. The similes themselves are powerful images: the dissolving candle, the vanishing snowflake, the extinguished light. These images are not merely decorative; they contribute to the poem’s emotional depth and help the reader understand the speaker’s complex feelings.
Metaphor: Implicit Comparisons and Emotional Resonance
While the poem primarily relies on simile, the lover is implicitly presented as a force of nature—a tempest—suggesting the power and intensity of their affection. This metaphorical presentation contributes to the poem’s dramatic tension and highlights the transformative potential of love.
Symbolism: Deeper Layers of Meaning
Several elements within the poem carry symbolic weight. Light, often associated with knowledge and awareness, represents the speaker’s individuality. The act of being “lost” symbolizes a willingness to surrender to emotion, while the natural elements—wind, sea, light—represent the forces that shape the human experience.
Form and Structure: The Power of the Quatrain
The poem’s structure, three quatrains (four-line stanzas) with an ABCB rhyme scheme, contributes to its overall effect. The regular structure provides a sense of order and control while the subtle rhyme scheme creates a pleasing musicality. The concise form mirrors the poem’s focused exploration of a single, complex emotion.
“I Am Not Yours” is a captivating poem that continues to resonate with readers today. Its exploration of independence, intimacy, and the complexities of love is both timeless and profoundly moving. The poem’s lyrical language, vivid imagery, and skillful use of literary devices make it a true masterpiece of American poetry.