When I am Dead, My Dearest
By Christina Rossetti
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
Unveiling “When I am Dead, My Dearest”: A Gentle Look at Loss and Remembrance
Christina Rossetti’s “When I am Dead, My Dearest” is a timeless poem that offers a remarkably peaceful and unconventional perspective on death and remembrance. First published in 1862 within her celebrated collection, Goblin Market and Other Poems, this piece has resonated with readers for generations due to its profound simplicity and emotional depth.
The central idea of “When I am Dead, My Dearest” revolves around a speaker’s serene acceptance of mortality and her unique wishes for her beloved after her passing. Instead of desiring elaborate mourning or traditional symbols of grief, the speaker expresses a preference for a quiet, natural return to the earth. The poem explores the cessation of earthly sensations in death and, most notably, the beautiful ambiguity of memory, granting the beloved the freedom to remember or to forget as their heart dictates. This gentle relinquishing of control over how one is remembered makes the poem particularly poignant and universally appealing.
An In-Depth Analysis of “When I am Dead, My Dearest”
The Speaker’s Unconventional Wishes for Remembrance
The poem opens with a direct address to the speaker’s “dearest,” immediately setting a tone of intimacy and heartfelt communication. The very first lines reveal a striking departure from traditional Victorian mourning customs:
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Here, the speaker explicitly rejects the common practices of public lamentation and elaborate grave adornments. Roses and cypress trees were, and still are, traditional symbols of love, remembrance, and sorrow. By asking for these to be omitted, the speaker expresses a desire to spare her beloved the burden of performative grief. Instead, she wishes for a simple, unadorned resting place, embracing the natural world:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
This imagery of “green grass” and “showers and dewdrops” suggests a peaceful integration back into nature, a quiet cycle of life and decay, rather than a monument to loss. It underscores a profound contentment with becoming part of the earth, emphasizing authenticity over outward displays of sorrow. The speaker’s requests are not a rejection of love, but a tender plea for her beloved’s peace.
The Cessation of Earthly Sensations
The second stanza shifts focus, contemplating the speaker’s anticipated state after death. It is marked by a series of powerful negations, highlighting the complete loss of sensory experience:
I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
These lines vividly portray a detachment from the earthly realm. The “shadows,” “rain,” and the “nightingale’s” song are all rich sensory details that connect us to the living world. The nightingale, often a symbol of romantic longing, beauty, and melancholy, is particularly significant. The speaker anticipates not even hearing its poignant song, signifying a complete release from earthly emotions and perceptions. This is presented not as a frightening void, but as a natural and peaceful cessation of experience.
The poem then introduces a profound image of an eternal, timeless state:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
The “twilight” here is a powerful metaphor for a liminal space, a state between waking and sleeping, life and death. The crucial phrase “That doth not rise nor set” suggests an existence beyond the constraints of earthly time, a perpetual, unchanging state. This imagery paints a picture of serene stillness, free from the cycles and anxieties of the living world.
The Gentle Ambiguity of Memory
The poem culminates in its most tender and perhaps most profound sentiment, addressing the uncertainty of memory both for the deceased and the living:
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.
And in the second stanza, regarding her own potential memory:
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
The word “haply” means “perhaps” or “maybe,” introducing a beautiful ambiguity. The speaker does not claim to know what her state of memory will be after death. This acceptance of the unknown is a cornerstone of the poem’s peaceful tone. More remarkably, she extends this same freedom to her beloved. She does not demand to be remembered, nor does she fear being forgotten. This act of relinquishing control over her legacy is a testament to profound trust and unconditional love. It acknowledges that the beloved’s peace and genuine feelings are paramount, allowing them to grieve, remember, or move forward in a way that is true to their own heart. This final gesture is one of ultimate acceptance and gentle liberation.
Literary and Poetic Devices in “When I am Dead, My Dearest”
Christina Rossetti masterfully employs several literary and poetic devices to create the poem’s unique tone and enduring impact. Understanding these devices enhances appreciation for her craft.
- Anaphora: The repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of successive clauses or lines creates emphasis and rhythm. In the second stanza, the repeated phrase “I shall not” powerfully underscores the speaker’s anticipated loss of sensory experience:
I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingaleThis repetition builds a sense of finality and detachment, drawing the reader into the speaker’s vision of peaceful oblivion.
- Imagery: Rossetti’s use of vivid, sensory language creates strong mental pictures and emotional connections. Examples include “green grass,” “showers and dewdrops wet,” “shadows,” “rain,” and the “nightingale.” These images ground the abstract concept of death in the concrete details of the natural world, making the poem relatable and evocative.
- Symbolism: Objects and ideas in the poem carry deeper meanings.
- The “roses” and “cypress tree” symbolize traditional mourning, love, and sorrow, which the speaker rejects.
- The “green grass” symbolizes renewal, natural cycles, and a simple return to the earth.
- The “twilight that doth not rise nor set” symbolizes a timeless, liminal state between life and death, an eternal peace.
These symbols enrich the poem’s meaning and invite deeper interpretation.
- Metaphor: The poem uses the metaphor of returning to nature as a peaceful and natural conclusion to life. The speaker’s desire to be covered by “green grass” suggests a transformation, becoming part of the earth again, implying a cyclical view of existence.
- Assonance: The repetition of vowel sounds within non-rhyming words creates musicality and flow. Notice the repeated “e” sound in “When I am dead, my dearest” and “Be the green grass above me.” This subtle echoing of sounds contributes to the poem’s lyrical quality and gentle rhythm.
- Enjambment: The continuation of a sentence or phrase from one line to the next without a pause or punctuation creates a flowing rhythm and encourages continuous reading. For instance, the flow from “I shall not hear the nightingale / Sing on, as if in pain” seamlessly connects the ideas, mimicking the uninterrupted flow of thought and the natural transition from life to death.
- Diction: Rossetti’s careful choice of words, such as “dearest,” “haply,” and the simple, natural imagery, contributes significantly to the poem’s overall tone of peaceful resignation and gentle acceptance. The simplicity of the language belies the profound philosophical and emotional content of the poem.
The Enduring Message of “When I am Dead, My Dearest”
“When I am Dead, My Dearest” stands as a beautiful testament to Christina Rossetti’s profound understanding of human emotion and the natural world. It is a poem that gently guides us to consider mortality not with fear or elaborate sorrow, but with a quiet acceptance and a deep trust in the enduring power of love. The speaker’s wishes for a simple, natural remembrance and her tender permission for her beloved to remember or forget offer a comforting perspective on loss.
This poem encourages reflection on what truly matters in remembrance: not grand gestures, but the genuine feelings of the heart. Its message of acceptance, tranquility, and the freedom to grieve authentically continues to resonate, making it a powerful and comforting piece of literature for all who encounter it.