On My First Son
Author: Unknown
Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy;
My sin was too much hope of thee, lov’d boy.
Seven years tho’ wert lent to me, and I thee pay,
Exact by thy fate, on the just day.
O, could I lose all father now! For why
Will man lament the state he should envy?
To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage,
And if no other misery, yet age?
Rest in soft peace, and ask, say, “Here doth lie
Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry.”
For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such,
As what he loves may never like too much.
Summary of “On My First Son”
- About the Poem: The poem “On My First Son” is a deeply personal and moving elegy written in response to the death of a seven‑year‑old son. The poem is concise, composed of just twelve lines, and reflects a profound meditation on death, fate, and the bittersweet nature of parental love.
- Central Idea: The poem explores the speaker’s struggle to reconcile his sorrow with a philosophical acceptance of death as a release from the suffering of earthly existence. He attempts to find solace in the belief that his son is now free from the miseries of the world, even suggesting his son is better off in death.
- Noteworthy Features: The poem’s structure is tight and controlled, reflecting the speaker’s attempt to impose order on his grief. The final couplet offers a poignant resolution: the speaker vows to moderate his affections in the future to avoid similar heartbreak.
Analysis of “On My First Son”
An Exploration of Grief and Acceptance
The poem opens with a direct address to the deceased child, “Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy.” This immediately establishes the intimate and loving bond between father and son. The phrase “right hand” signifies the son’s importance, representing strength, assistance, and a crucial part of the speaker’s life. The use of “joy” underscores the happiness the child brought, making the loss all the more acute.
The Weight of Hope and the Idea of “Sin”
The second line, “My sin was too much hope of thee, lov’d boy,” is particularly striking. It’s unconventional to frame parental hope as a “sin.” The speaker is not suggesting moral wrongdoing, but rather that excessive investment in the future—and the inevitable disappointment when that future is cut short—can be a source of profound pain. This line reveals the speaker’s internal conflict and his struggle to find meaning in a seemingly senseless loss.
A Metaphor of Loan and Repayment
The lines “Seven years tho’ wert lent to me, and I thee pay, / Exact by thy fate, on the just day” present a powerful metaphor. The child is portrayed as something “lent” to the speaker, implying that he never truly belonged to him. The speaker “pays” this debt to fate on the “just day,” suggesting a sense of inevitability and acceptance. It is a resigned, almost stoic, acknowledgement of the natural order.
The Rhetorical Question and Inversion of Grief
The speaker then engages in a philosophical debate with himself, questioning why humans lament death. “O, could I lose all father now! For why / Will man lament the state he should envy?” This rhetorical question is crucial. The speaker inverts the typical expression of grief by suggesting that death might be preferable to life, escaping “world’s and flesh’s rage, / And if no other misery, yet age?” The speaker attempts to convince himself, and perhaps the reader, that his son is better off in death than continuing to suffer the hardships of existence.
The Son as a “Piece of Poetry” and Legacy
The lines “Rest in soft peace, and ask, say, “Here doth lie / Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry”” are deeply poignant. The speaker imagines his son’s epitaph, identifying him not merely as a son, but as the father’s greatest creation. This elevates the child to the level of art, suggesting that his memory will endure as a testament to the power of love and creativity.
The Final Couplet and a Promise of Moderation
The poem concludes with a powerful couplet: “For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such, / As what he loves may never like too much.” This is the speaker’s resolution, a promise to temper his affections in the future to avoid the same devastating loss. It is a bittersweet acknowledgement of the risks of loving deeply and a pragmatic attempt to protect himself from further heartbreak.
Literary and Poetic Devices in “On My First Son”
Literary Devices
- Metaphor: The entire poem relies heavily on metaphor, particularly the idea of the child as something “lent” and “paid back.”
- Rhetorical Question: Used to challenge conventional grief and suggest the potential benefits of death.
- Imagery: Creates a vivid emotional landscape. Phrases like “soft peace” evoke a sense of tranquility.
- Symbolism: The “right hand” symbolizes strength and support; the child as “poetry” represents the father’s greatest creation.
Poetic Devices
- Couplet: The poem is structured entirely in couplets (pairs of rhyming lines), which creates a sense of closure and reinforces the poem’s themes.
- Rhyme Scheme: The poem follows a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme, adding to its musicality and formal structure.
- Alliteration: While subtle, alliteration is present, as in “fate, on the just day,” contributing to the poem’s auditory appeal.
- Assonance: The repetition of vowel sounds, such as in “soft peace,” creates a sense of harmony.
“On My First Son” is a masterful elegy that explores the complexities of grief, acceptance, and the enduring power of parental love. Its concise structure, poignant imagery, and skillful use of literary and poetic devices make it a timeless and deeply moving poem.