When I am Dead, My Dearest
By Christina Rossetti
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
Summary of When I am Dead, My Dearest
“When I am Dead, My Dearest” is a poignant and deceptively simple poem by Christina Rossetti, first published in 1862 as part of her collection, Goblin Market and Other Poems. The poem is remarkable for its quiet acceptance of mortality and its unconventional request from a loved one. It is written from the perspective of a speaker who addresses her “dearest” and outlines her wishes for after her death, specifically that they do not mourn her with traditional displays of grief.
The central idea of the poem revolves around a peaceful relinquishing of earthly existence. The speaker does not want elaborate memorials or reminders of her passing; she desires a simple return to nature. She anticipates a state of being in which earthly sensations are lost, and even memory itself is uncertain. This is not a morbid rejection of life, but a serene understanding of its natural conclusion. The final lines beautifully encapsulate this sentiment, offering a gentle permission to remember or to forget, according to the beloved’s own heart.
Rossetti published the poem in her early thirties, and its maturity and nuanced handling of death have resonated with readers for generations. It is a powerful meditation on loss, remembrance, and the enduring beauty of the natural world.
Analysis of When I am Dead, My Dearest
Exploring the Speaker’s Wishes
The opening lines immediately establish the speaker’s unconventional request: “When I am dead, my dearest, / Sing no sad songs for me.” This is not a plea against being remembered, but against the perpetuation of sorrow. The speaker rejects the Victorian tradition of elaborate mourning rituals, preferring instead a quiet acceptance of her fate. This sets a tone of peaceful resignation that permeates the entire poem. She extends this request further, specifically asking that no roses or cypress trees—traditional symbols of mourning—be planted at her graveside. Instead, she desires to be covered by the simple beauty of nature: “Be the green grass above me / With showers and dewdrops wet.” The imagery highlights a desire for a natural, unadorned return to the earth.
The focus shifts from a commemoration of the beloved to an embrace of the natural cycle, suggesting a contentment with becoming part of something larger than oneself. The simplicity of the image—grass and raindrops—contrasts sharply with the ornate displays of Victorian grief, emphasizing the speaker’s preference for authenticity over performance.
The Loss of Sensory Experience
The second stanza shifts in perspective, moving from the speaker’s wishes for her beloved to a description of her anticipated state of being after death. “I shall not see the shadows, / I shall not feel the rain; / I shall not hear the nightingale.” This section is defined by a series of negations, emphasizing the complete loss of sensory experience. The imagery of shadows, rain, and the nightingale evokes a vivid picture of the earthly world, which the speaker will no longer be able to perceive. The nightingale, often associated with romantic longing and melancholy, is particularly significant. The speaker will not even hear its song, suggesting a complete detachment from earthly emotions. This is not presented as frightening, but as a natural cessation of experience. The repetition of “I shall not” creates a rhythmic, almost hypnotic effect, drawing the reader into the speaker’s vision of a peaceful oblivion.
The line “And dreaming through the twilight / That doth not rise nor set” is particularly evocative. The twilight suggests a liminal space between life and death, a state of perpetual ambiguity. The fact that it neither rises nor sets implies a timeless, unchanging existence, a departure from the cyclical nature of life. It paints a picture of a serene, still existence, devoid of the passage of time and the accompanying anxieties. The lack of a rising or setting sun suggests a world beyond the constraints of earthly phenomena.
The Ambiguity of Memory
The final lines, “Haply I may remember, / And haply may forget,” introduce a fascinating ambiguity. “Haply” means “perhaps” or “maybe,” highlighting the uncertainty of existence after death. The speaker does not claim to know whether she will retain her memories or not. This acceptance of the unknown is a key element of the poem’s peaceful tone. The speaker does not demand to be remembered, nor does she fear being forgotten. She simply acknowledges the possibility of both, leaving it to the beloved to decide what feels right. This final couplet is powerfully understated. By offering the beloved the freedom to remember or forget, the speaker relinquishes control and embraces a complete acceptance of fate. This suggests a profound trust in the enduring love of her “dearest,” acknowledging that their feelings are more important than her own continued existence.
Literary and Poetic Devices in Action
- Assonance: The repetition of vowel sounds creates musicality. Notice the repeated “e” sound in “When I am dead, my dearest” and the similar repetition in “Be the green grass.” This contributes to the poem’s lyrical quality.
- Anaphora: The repetition of “I shall not” at the beginning of successive lines in the second stanza (“I shall not see…”, “I shall not feel…”, “I shall not hear…”) creates a powerful rhythm and emphasizes the speaker’s anticipated loss of sensory experience. It builds a sense of finality and detachment.
- Imagery: Rossetti’s use of vivid imagery—“green grass,” “showers and dewdrops,” “shadows,” “rain,” “nightingale”—appeals to the reader’s senses and creates a strong emotional impact. It anchors the abstract concept of death in the concrete details of the natural world.
- Metaphor: The poem utilizes the metaphor of returning to nature as a peaceful and natural end to life. The speaker desires to become part of the earth again, symbolized by the green grass and dewdrops. This suggests a cyclical view of life and death, where one transforms into the other.
- Symbolism: The green grass symbolizes renewal and life, contrasting with the traditional symbols of mourning (roses and cypress trees). The twilight symbolizes the ambiguous space between life and death. These symbols enrich the poem’s meaning and add layers of interpretation.
- Enjambment: The use of enjambment—the continuation of a sentence or phrase from one line to the next without a pause—creates a flowing rhythm and encourages the reader to read the poem quickly and continuously. For example, the flow from “I shall not hear the nightingale / Sing on, as if in pain” draws you into the scene. It mimics the uninterrupted flow of time and the seamless transition from life to death.
- Diction: Rossetti’s careful word choice, words like “haply,” “dearest,” and the simple, natural imagery contributes to the poem’s overall tone of peaceful resignation and gentle acceptance. The simplicity of the language belies the depth of the poem’s philosophical and emotional content.
Quotes for Reflection
These lines offer a beautiful and comforting perspective on loss and remembrance:
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.
They can be used to inspire a different approach to grieving and remembrance, focusing on celebrating life rather than dwelling on sorrow. The poem’s message is ultimately one of acceptance, tranquility, and the enduring power of love.