Call it a good marriage –
For no one ever questioned
Her warmth, his masculinity,
Their interlocking lives;
Except one stray graphologist
Who frowned in speculation
At her h’s and her s’s,
His p’s and w’s.Though few would still subscribe
To the monogamous axiom
That strife below the hip‑bones
Need not estrange the heart,
Call it a good marriage:
More drew them together,
Despite a lack of children,
Than pulled them apart.Call it a good marriage:
They never fought in public,
They acted circumspectly
And faced the world with pride;
Thus the hazards of their love‑bed
Were none of our damned business –
Till as jurymen we sat on
Two deaths by suicide.
Unveiling the Layers of “Call It A Good Marriage”
Robert Graves’s poignant poem, “Call It A Good Marriage,” offers a chilling exploration of perception versus reality within a marital union. This concise yet powerful work challenges readers to look beyond superficial appearances and consider the profound, often hidden, complexities of human relationships. The poem serves as a stark reminder that outward harmony does not always equate to inner peace or genuine connection.
Summary of “Call It A Good Marriage”
- The Poem’s Core: “Call It A Good Marriage” by Robert Graves masterfully constructs a portrait of a seemingly ideal marriage, only to dismantle it with a devastating revelation. The poem meticulously details how a couple maintains an impeccable public image, leading observers to label their union as “good.” However, this facade crumbles in the final lines, exposing a tragic, unspoken despair.
- Central Idea: The central idea of the poem revolves around the deceptive nature of appearances and the profound chasm that can exist between public perception and private suffering. It critiques societal judgments based on external indicators, suggesting that even the most outwardly stable relationships can conceal deep-seated unhappiness and isolation. The poem underscores the idea that a lack of visible conflict does not signify true contentment or a healthy bond.
- Noteworthy Knowledge: The poem is renowned for its understated tone, its powerful use of irony, and its shocking, impactful twist ending. The recurring phrase, “Call it a good marriage,” functions as a haunting refrain, progressively highlighting the tragic disparity between the couple’s carefully curated public life and their ultimate, desperate private reality. This structure compels readers to re-evaluate every detail presented, transforming a seemingly straightforward narrative into a profound commentary on human pretense and hidden pain.
In-Depth Analysis of “Call It A Good Marriage”
The Deceptive Power of Repetition and Ironic Framing
The poem immediately establishes its central tension through the repeated, almost insistent, phrase, “Call it a good marriage.” This is not a heartfelt declaration of success, but rather a societal label, a public judgment. Graves employs this repetition to create an unsettling effect, daring the reader to accept this assessment at face value, even as subtle clues hint at a deeper, more tragic truth. The initial lines, “For no one ever questioned / Her warmth, his masculinity, / Their interlocking lives,” seemingly affirm the “good marriage” label. These descriptions paint a picture of conventional compatibility and mutual support, fulfilling societal expectations. However, the introduction of the “one stray graphologist / Who frowned in speculation / At her h’s and her s’s, / His p’s and w’s,” immediately introduces a note of unease. The graphologist, a specialist in handwriting analysis, represents a deeper, more perceptive form of scrutiny than mere superficial observation. Their “frown in speculation” suggests that beneath the outwardly “interlocking lives,” there exist subtle, perhaps incompatible, personality traits or underlying tensions that are invisible to the casual observer.
Exploring the Paradox of Maintained Appearances
The second stanza further delves into the complexities of marital harmony, or the lack thereof. The lines, “Though few would still subscribe / To the monogamous axiom / That strife below the hip‑bones / Need not estrange the heart,” acknowledge a common, perhaps outdated, belief that physical or emotional distance in intimacy does not necessarily sever the deeper emotional connection. The striking metaphor “strife below the hip‑bones” subtly hints at suppressed desires, unspoken conflicts, or a lack of physical intimacy that could contribute to emotional estrangement. This phrase suggests a deeper, more intimate level of discord than public arguments. The continued refrain, “Call it a good marriage,” now feels increasingly hollow, a desperate attempt to maintain a facade of normalcy and societal approval. The mention of “a lack of children” is presented not as a tragedy in itself, but as another factor that might have contributed to the couple’s isolation, removing a common bond that often strengthens marital ties. The line, “More drew them together, / Than pulled them apart,” initially appears positive, yet in light of the poem’s ultimate revelation, it underscores the fragility and superficiality of their bond, suggesting that what held them together was perhaps less substantial than what truly separated them.
The Shocking Revelation and its Profound Impact
The final stanza delivers the poem’s devastating and unforgettable twist. The lines, “They never fought in public, / They acted circumspectly / And faced the world with pride,” meticulously paint a picture of a couple who expertly cultivated a flawless public image. They mastered the art of concealing their inner struggles, presenting a carefully constructed illusion of happiness and dignity to society. The subsequent line, “Thus the hazards of their love‑bed / Were none of our damned business,” reinforces this sense of extreme privacy and guarded secrecy, implying that their intimate struggles were deliberately kept hidden from public view. However, the final two lines, “Till as jurymen we sat on / Two deaths by suicide,” shatter this illusion completely and brutally. The revelation of their suicides is shocking not only for its tragic nature but also for the profound irony it exposes. The stark contrast between their meticulously maintained public image and their private despair forces a complete re-evaluation of everything previously presented. As “jurymen,” the speakers, and by extension the readers, are compelled to confront the devastating reality that was previously shielded, realizing the profound failure and suffering hidden beneath the facade of a “good marriage.” This ending transforms the poem from a simple observation into a powerful indictment of societal expectations and the dangers of emotional suppression.
Literary and Poetic Devices in “Call It A Good Marriage”
Understanding the Craft Behind the Poem
Robert Graves masterfully employs several literary and poetic devices to imbue “Call It A Good Marriage” with its profound depth and emotional resonance. These techniques contribute significantly to the poem’s unsettling atmosphere and its ultimate impact.
- Irony: The entire poem is steeped in dramatic irony, where the audience is aware of a tragic reality that the public within the poem, and initially the reader, is not. The repeated refrain “Call it a good marriage” becomes increasingly ironic with each stanza, culminating in the devastating revelation of suicide. This stark contrast between appearance and reality is the poem’s most powerful ironic element.
- Repetition: The phrase “Call it a good marriage” is repeated at the beginning of each stanza. This repetition serves as a structural anchor, but more importantly, it creates a sense of insistence and societal pressure, highlighting how often superficial judgments are made about relationships. It also builds suspense, as the reader begins to question the validity of this repeated assertion.
- Enjambment: Graves frequently uses enjambment, where a sentence or phrase continues from one line to the next without a grammatical break. For example, “For no one ever questioned / Her warmth, his masculinity, / Their interlocking lives.” This technique creates a natural, conversational flow, mimicking everyday speech and drawing the reader smoothly through the narrative, often delaying the full impact of a thought until the subsequent line.
- Imagery: The poem uses evocative imagery to suggest deeper meanings. Phrases like “strife below the hip‑bones” vividly suggest hidden sexual or emotional discord, while “hazards of their love‑bed” implies dangers and difficulties within their most intimate space. These images are not explicit but powerfully hint at underlying issues.
- Paradox: The poem is built upon a central paradox: a marriage that is publicly deemed “good” is privately a source of such profound despair that it leads to suicide. This inherent contradiction forces readers to question conventional definitions of success and happiness in relationships.
- Assonance: The repetition of vowel sounds within non-rhyming words contributes to the poem’s musicality and subtle emphasis. An example can be found in “Her warmth, his masculinity,” where the repeated ‘a’ sound creates a soft internal rhythm. Another instance is “strife below the hip‑bones,” where the long ‘i’ sound subtly links the concepts.
- Consonance: The repetition of consonant sounds within words or at the end of words, often with different vowel sounds, adds texture to the verse. Consider “h’s and her s’s” or “his p’s and w’s,” where the repeated ‘s’ sound creates a subtle, almost whispering effect, mirroring the secretive nature of the graphologist’s observation.
The Impact of Free Verse
“Call It A Good Marriage” is composed in free verse, meaning it does not adhere to a strict rhyme scheme or a consistent metrical pattern. This deliberate choice by Graves allows for a conversational and natural tone, mirroring the rhythms of everyday speech. The absence of formal constraints enables the poem to unfold organically, emphasizing the stark honesty and emotional rawness of its subject matter. The lack of a rigid structure subtly reflects the underlying lack of genuine connection and stability beneath the surface of the seemingly conventional marriage. The poem’s power stems not from its formal elegance, but from its directness, its stark portrayal of human pretense, and its profound emotional resonance.
A Lasting Reflection on Marital Truths
“Call It A Good Marriage” stands as a haunting and insightful exploration of the complexities inherent in human relationships and the profound dangers of prioritizing appearances over genuine emotional well-being. Robert Graves’s masterful use of irony, repetition, and a shocking twist compels readers to look beyond superficial judgments and question what truly constitutes a “good” marriage. The poem remains a powerful and poignant reminder that outward harmony can often conceal profound inner turmoil, urging a deeper understanding of the silent struggles that may lie beneath the surface of even the most seemingly perfect lives.